How it came to be …. For me

My journey to Christ was not something I planned. It was not a decision I made simply with my mind. It was something that reached into the deepest part of me.

I had spent my life searching for God, searching for truth, searching for where I truly belonged.

During my journey, I had come to know Islam and sincerely tried to draw closer to God through it. I gave my heart to seeking, learning, praying, and understanding. But over time, I found myself struggling. I felt a distance growing inside me. I wanted to feel close to God, but something in my soul was still longing for something I could not explain.

Then came a moment I will never forget.

I was watching a documentary about Michael Jackson when something happened that I cannot describe as just a thought or an idea. A verse from Isaiah came alive to me in a way I had never experienced before.

It was as if the words were not simply being read — they were reaching me.

I felt it throughout my whole body. A physical reaction, a deep stirring, something that went beyond words. It felt like my heart was being awakened. In that moment, something inside me shifted.

Later, when I was struggling and questioning why I felt so far away from the closeness with God that I was seeking, Christ met me.

Not through an argument. Not through pressure. Not through fear.

Through love.

I think of Saint Photini, the Samaritan woman at the well. She came to the well carrying her past, her questions, and her thirst. She was not expecting to meet the Messiah that day. But Christ was there waiting for her.

He knew her completely, yet He still called her.

He offered her the Living Water.

When I look at her story, I see my own. I came carrying my searching, my struggles, my questions, and everything I had been through. And then Christ found me.

It felt like the same Living Water that He offered Photini was being offered to me.

Once again, I felt it through my whole being — not just as an emotion, but as something that reached my soul and my body. A feeling of being found. A feeling of coming home.

My whole life was transformed in a single encounter.

I had been searching for God, but I discovered that Christ had been searching for me all along.

Like Photini, I came thirsty.

And I left with the Living Water of Christ.

Christ is Risen!

Over these past days, as I have walked this unexpected and life-changing path towards Christ, one Saint’s story has remained close to my heart: St. Photini, the Samaritan Woman.

When I first encountered her story, I felt something I cannot fully put into words. Here was a woman who came to a well carrying the weight of her past, searching for something that the world could never satisfy. Yet in one encounter with Jesus Christ, everything changed.

She came to the well seeking ordinary water, but she encountered the Living Water Himself.

Christ did not see her only through her past. He saw her as she was created to be. He spoke to her, revealed Himself to her, and called her into a new life. The woman who arrived carrying a water pot left it behind — and in doing so, she left behind the person she had been.

She went from searching for fulfilment in the things of this world to becoming a witness of Christ’s truth.

She went from the well as a seeker, and returned as an evangelist.

She went from carrying water, to carrying the message of God’s mercy and love.

Her story has deeply reflected my own awakening. Like Photini, I too have come to the well carrying my own history, my own questions, my own thirst for something greater. And through Christ, I have found the Living Water that I had been searching for all along.

That is why I chose the name Photini.

Not because I feel worthy of such a Saint’s name, but because her story reminds me of what Christ can do with a willing heart. She shows me that no past is too complicated, no journey too far, and no person too lost for the love of God to reach them.

St. Photini did not keep the revelation of Christ to herself. Once she encountered Him, she could not remain silent. Her whole life became a testimony of the One who had called her by name.

I pray that I may follow even a small part of her example — to leave my own water pot behind, to walk forward in faith, and to share the hope and mercy I have found in Jesus Christ.

St. Photini, my patron saint, pray for me.

May Christ continue to transform my heart, as He transformed yours.

They say that God moves in mysterious ways.

For most of my life, I never truly understood what that meant. I had heard the words before, but I had never experienced them in a way that stopped me completely.

Until recently.

In fact, within the last 48 hours, something has shifted inside me.

I wasn’t searching for this.

I wasn’t looking for it.

I was simply asking questions. Trying to understand. Trying to find my way back to God through Islam

And somehow, through that searching, I found Christ.

I found Jesus Christ.

And in that moment, my entire understanding of faith changed.

It reminds me of something from my childhood.

Growing up, I had always seen Saturn and its rings. I had seen pictures in books, films, and astronomy magazines. I knew Saturn existed. I believed it existed.

But there was still a distance between knowing something and truly seeing it.

Then one day, my father placed his huge telescope in the garden and showed me Saturn.

And there it was.

The rings.

Not a photograph.

Not something someone else had described.

I saw it for myself.

And once you have seen something with your own eyes, you cannot return to the same uncertainty. The question changes because something that felt distant suddenly becomes real.

That is what this moment has felt like.

For years, I searched for God through Islam. I studied, questioned, prayed, reflected, and tried to understand the path that would bring me closer to Him.

And that journey mattered.

It brought me closer to thinking about God. It taught me devotion. It taught me surrender. It taught me to seek something beyond myself.

But the more I questioned, the more I found myself returning to one person.

Jesus.

The questions began to grow.

Who is Jesus?

Why is his story so central?

Why has his life changed the course of history?

What does his death and resurrection truly mean?

And as I continued searching, I found myself drawn towards the mystery at the heart of Christianity — the Trinity.

For years, I had misunderstood it. I thought it meant three separate beings, three gods, something impossible to comprehend.

But then I began to understand it differently.

One God.

Not divided.

Not three separate gods.

The Father — the source of all creation.

The Son, Jesus Christ — God’s Word made flesh, entering into human experience so that humanity could know Him in a way we could understand.

And the Holy Spirit — God’s presence and action alive within creation and within us.

Distinct in relationship, but united in being.

And suddenly, something clicked.

It was like looking through that telescope again.

Something I had only heard about became something I could finally see.

I began to understand why Christians have always placed Jesus at the very centre of their faith.

I began to understand why his followers were willing to endure so much because of what they believed they had witnessed.

My search for God did not end where I expected.

It led somewhere I never imagined.

It led me to Christ.

And just like seeing Saturn’s rings for the first time, I feel like something that was once distant has become clear.

I have seen something I cannot simply unsee.

And now I have to follow where that light leads.

“The human heart has many ways of reaching for the One who created it.”

As I look at this flower my youngest picked for me I continue reflecting on today’s conversations, I have been thinking about the experience of searching within Islam — and how, at times, the voice of the ummah can feel very loud when someone begins to explore deeper questions of spirituality, meaning, and connection.

There can sometimes be a fear that looking beyond traditional interpretations means moving away from Allah, as though there is only one way a heart can journey towards God. But the relationship between a person and their Creator has always been deeply personal. Faith is not only inherited or expressed outwardly; it is also something lived within the heart.

Islam comes from a root connected to peace, wholeness, and surrender — the surrender of the self to Allah. It is a path intended to bring the soul into harmony with its Creator, cultivating humility, compassion, mercy, and a heart that remembers Him.

I find myself reflecting on the belief that there is not always one single way a heart journeys towards Allah. For me, what matters most is the intention behind the seeking — whether the heart is turning towards Allah, longing to know Him more deeply, and seeking a greater connection with the One who created it.

I do not believe that every sincere step towards Allah should be viewed through a lens of fear or distance.l simply because it doesn’t follow the traditional path . A path that is walked with the intention of deepening faith, growing in understanding, and drawing closer to Allah is, for me, part of that relationship and that return.

Today has been a deeply reflective and, honestly, exhausting day. I find myself tonight longing for sleep, yet my mind is still full — my journal filled with questions, thoughts, reflections, and words that have stayed with me from the conversations and moments throughout the day.

Some reflections cannot be rushed into neat answers. Some questions need time, patience, and quietness. Tonight I simply find myself carrying these thoughts with me — grateful for the opportunity to reflect, to learn, and to continue walking with sincerity.