This needed to end so I could be alone with only Allah, to understand his mercy and how it is only him that can fill any void.
When we put more importance on this dunya and we fill our hearts with people and things of this world we set ourselves up to feel pain.
To be stuck in an endless loop of heartache and sadness.
Nothing or no-one else can be relied upon as they are temporary in this dunya, only Allah is the everlasting, flawless and absolute.
The heart is his rightful place. Nothing else has the right to reside there except him. When we empty our hearts of everything from this dunya and fill it with Allah, only then can we escape this prison this dunya tries to keep us in.
In this place of freedom we can no longer be broken, our hearts can no longer be weak. we will no longer suffer for Allah is there
When I wrote this I had just decided to stop speaking to someone for the sake of Allah, to someone I felt very deeply I would also walk with in Jannah, so strong were my feelings for him. Sadly it became messy and his past interactions all came back to feast and I dont want to eat at that kind of table.
Its ending didn’t affect my decision to travel, in fact it confirmed for me that it was indeed by the will of Allah that this person came back to disrupt the situation, as it caused me to turn back to Allah and away from temporary things. It brought a realisation that I had put this person in the wrong place in my body.
“Only Allah should reside in our hearts”
Despite the situation leaving me to feel like I was stranded in the middle of the ocean I now ‎saw this as a blessing from Allah, for out of his mercy I turned to only him in full acceptance of his will and he placed in my heart something better, something everlasting and perfect
HIMSELF
“And when adversity touches you at sea, lost are all these you invoke except for him “[17:67]
Allahu Akbar
Seeking Sakina 