Healing Before Love: An Islamic Reflection

Today, a tear slipped down my cheek for a woman I care about deeply.

Not because she hurt me. Not because we argued.

But because she stepped into a new relationship carrying a heart still bleeding from the past.

She hasn’t healed yet—but she’s seeking love as if it will fix what only Allah can.

I see this often, especially with women. The ache of loneliness can become so heavy that silence feels unbearable. The quiet moments turn into whispers of sadness. And in those moments, the idea of being held, seen, loved—it becomes a lifeline. But sometimes, we mistake comfort for connection, and longing for love.

In Islam, we are taught that healing is a mercy, and that even our pain is a reminder to turn inward—to turn toward Allah. “Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.” (Qur’an 13:28)

Yet many rush into relationships hoping they will fill the void. But if that void is spiritual, no human can fill it. And if our soul is unsettled, we will carry that unrest wherever we go—even into the arms of someone else.

And what happens then?

When you enter a relationship without tending to your own wounds, the risk is great. If your partner lacks emotional depth, compassion, or spiritual grounding, it’s not just mismatched love—it can become a recipe for pain. At best, it leads to heartbreak. At worst, to harm.

Our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “No one should be harmed, nor should harm be reciprocated.” Relationships rooted in pain often end in both.

So I say this not in judgment, but in sorrow. In hope. In dua.

My sister, take time to heal not so you can earn a good partner, but so you can become a whole one. So that when love comes—real, God-sent love—it finds you standing tall, not searching for someone to complete you, but walking beside you in faith.

Heal, not to avoid loneliness, but to discover the sweetness of solitude with your Lord. Heal so that you are not swayed by fleeting affection, but anchored in divine love.

And trust, whatever is meant for you will never pass you by.