Fajr : Day 4

I keep being woken up at 3am so I try to go back to sleep till the adhan at 430 but I can’t. I know I am being called, so restless is how I spend the next hour.

My health has been awful as I entered Ramadan. My consultant said no to fasting but then reluctantly agreed that I could fast from food but absolutely not water and only if I agreed to weekly blood testing. So I did.

Yesterday was easier then the day before where I broke my fast as almost collapsed. I will continue to fast as long as I can , this year is so important to me and I’m not sure why ? Maybe it’s because I didn’t think I would make it to this one after my health deteriorated last year or maybe I am just so grateful that I did that I don’t want to miss a thing about it.

I’m trying to embrace the same compassion Allah blesses me with everyday. It’s not easy to show yourself compassion and a large part of that is accepting I will make mistakes but more importantly that it’s ok as Allah is all Forgiving Al – Ghafur

Even more than that he understands the struggles I am facing and fighting and shows me such mercy as he is also al-Rahman and al-Rahim – the Compassionate and the Merciful.

With this in mind I wrote in my journal :

In the stillness of the early morning, I kneel in prayer, tears welling in my eyes, reflecting the love and compassion Allah showers upon me. During the blessed month of Ramadan, these moments become even more profound. With each tear that falls, I feel my heart softening, opening wider to receive His grace. It’s as if every drop is a testament to His mercy, filling me with a profound sense of peace and gratitude. In those silent moments, I draw nearer to Allah, knowing that His love empowers me to share compassion and kindness with not only myself but to extend it to all His creation.