Smile its Sunnah

This morning, well to be truthful this entire last week I’ve been feeling very disconnected from Islam, disconnected from praying as it’s that time of the month but also from wearing my hijab, from the ummah and it’s made me feel very down, almost looking for reasons why I shouldn’t be on this path, as lets face it, life as a revert isn’t easy at all, we leave so much of our past behind that can often contain some of our best childhood memories with family etc only to find ourselves still searching and often alone in that search and questioning, desperately trying to find our place, trying to find our feet to walk, often many years after we took our shahada.

Today on the morning school run,  as I was getting the children out of the car, something happened that took me a moment to register but affected me deeply. Heavy in pain with my second kidney infection and bronchitis I was struggling with everything and deeply lost in that thought then as I looked up I noticed from the back of another sen  transport car, the escort, a fellow hijabi giving me the biggest smile and was waving at me. It took me a second to register she was actually waving at me and not my daughter, so I smiled and waved back. This small act gave me such a good feeling it touched me deep within my heart.

That small moment was so much more than a simple wave and greeting when I was feeling so lost and disconnected. On refelction it was reminder and it’s made me realise that the smallest of things are sent by Allah when we need them the most that I am not lost or disconnected from him but found and deeply connected. Life is just testing me right now, but as I am reminded

 ‘He guides towards Him those who repent and believe, and blesses them peace of heart by remembering Him‘ (Holy Quran, Ra’d: Ayat27-28).

Verily, with hardship there is relief” (Qur’an 94:6)

Thankyou sister whoever you are.