Alhamdulillah

I wanted to begin re blogging as life over the last year especially through last 4.months has taken a very different path to what I could ever have imagined .

I fell in love with Islam. I reverted and became Muslim.

The path isn’t easy but as we are told Allah will always test us in this life and if it is hard it is because he knows we are strong enough and that the rewards are greater the harder the test.

Turning my back is how it felt at first on what my entire life and practices had been as a pagan for over 34 years and yet here I was and although islam was alien to me something in my heart knew it was where I needed to be,I had a sense of being home and acceptance and peace.

I struggle daily to learn and be a good Muslim but this is something else islam has taught me amd that is noone is perfect we all sin we all make mistakes and act in a haram manner but it is in the seeking of forgiveness,in truly seeking it that we are forgiven and our sins wiped clean in this life and the next. Now this doesn’t mean it gives you the key to a door to constantly commit haram sins but it means that it gives us a chance to do better to be better to care about doing this today as we are.not guaranteed a tomorrow.

Being Muslim and praying 5 times a day was a struggle at first with rising before dawn and trying to juggle life around prayer not prayer around life, learning the way to pray the Arabic words used, some of which I still struggle with but make dua constantly to help me learn. Yet daily everytime my head hits my prayer mat I am instantly connected to Allah to a peace I never knew existed and because of this I walk a path I no longer feel the need to control as i did before…..in the past by trying to control everything it gave me so much mental and emotional.torment whereas now I entrust my worries to Allah and feel at peace in my trust of his plan for me.

Islam has also taught me how to forgive how to truly understand true forgiveness as Allah himself is all forgiving and each day I say astaghfirullah. Islam makes me want to be a better person as Allah is my example and the prophet Muhammad pbh of how being grateful and patient and having faith through the tests in this Dunya with the belief in one God truly brings us back to our true selves which is a love based and peaceful existence with Allah and ourselves and those around us.

Alhamdulillah