Patterns

We all know that relationships won’t develop if one party is perpetually abusive. At the same time, it’s also very difficult for relationships to develop if one or both individuals cannot express their anger and disappointment, without running away. I had a dear friend once, one who was so afraid of conflict that he would go silent or flee the connection when he felt angry. He just couldn’t find the courage to stand in the fire and work it through. As a result, the connection spent years walking on unnaturally friendly eggshells, rather than growing to the next level of closeness. It’s one thing to refuse abusiveness in a connection, but quite another to flee every form of conflict. Sometimes, where there’s smoke, there’s transformation. But it takes courage to see it through… this often also takes facing our own shadows as that is all we are running from in truth